Things you SHOULDN’T do in Paris

1) Go the “back route” to Sacre Coeur by accident

Sacre Coeur

“Let’s get off at this Metro station, it says the Furnicular up to the top is right there”
– Arrives at a very run down metro station –
“Uhm… let’s just walk up here.”
– Continually walks up dodgy back streets-
“… are we lost?  Shall we get a map out? OH NO, LOOK there are stairs!”
– Collectively stare at about 300 steps –
– Have a heart attack at the top –
– Take the funicular down –

2) Lose things on the Metro

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What’s the point of buying €10 worth of gourmet chocolate to leave that, your hairbrush, and your sunglasses on the Metro?

3) Go to the Museum of Erotic Art, and start at the “hardcore” section by accident first

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Uhm… I’ll just leave that picture there shouldn’t I?
“It’s just a bit too erotic for me!”

4) Walk up the whole entire Champs-Elysses from the Louvre when you’re a bit tipsy

Arc de Triomphe

“Oh, it doesn’t really look that long!”
It will involve walking in a drunken daze until you’re so tired that you end up sitting down on a back road, wanting to never walk EVER again.

5) Visit something other than the Eiffel Tower in one day

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“No Okay, I think we’ll just have it from this angle now”
“Oh no look, A RAINBOW!”
“I feel we haven’t discovered it from this specific angle yet.”
“You mean there are OTHER things in Paris than the Eiffel Tower?!”

6)  Throw paper at beautiful French men to get their attention

They will turn around, and out of embarrassment you will stare at the ground, at the ceiling, and absolutely EVERYWHERE to avoid them looking at you in confusion

7) Take self portraits when you’re too scared to ask people

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They’ll end up like this

8) Do the three poses at every opportunity and  famous monument 

The: “LOOK AT MY CRIB!” pose

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The “Cheshire cat head tilt” pose

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and The “LOOK HOW EXCITED I AM AT A VERY STRANGE ANGLE” photos

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9) Blow your budget on the last night

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Bear in mind that’s €42 on alcohol alone.  Woops.

10) Drink wine, all the time

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Haha, no I’m just joking about that one.

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